Leaving.

Focus

Un-focus

Small black holes

Trees

Small black holes

Trees

It’s amazing how much a person can shut down their minds and just focus and un-focus her eyes on the black mesh of the fly screen. Even someone like me. Perfectly normal. Busy calendar, preparing for end of year exams, well educated. But the lure of focussing on the thin plastic mesh that stretched across my window was too hard to resist.

It’s better than listening to the fighting downstairs. It’s simple.

Focus

Un-focus

Black lines

Trees

Black lines

The smash of another glass or a plate, maybe she threw a vase this time, just to mix it up.

Focus

Un-focus

He’s yelling. Next the front door will slam.

Focus

Un-focus

Bang. Yep. I hate being right.

Focus

Un-focus

The puttering of the diesel engine is loud even in my second storey room.

Focus

Un-focus

Heavy feet on the stairs and I brace myself for what’s coming.

Focus

My door bangs open

Un-focus.

I don’t bother to lock it anymore, she will only kick it down and he will fix it the next time he comes home.

Focus

Un-focus

My books thrown all over the floor. Pens and pencils scatter across the carpet.  “See what you did you little shit. He’s gone again!”

Focus

Un-focus

A sharp slap to my cheek, the sting watering my eyes.

I finally turn and look at the woman who is my Mother. Her red hair sticking out like she’s been pulling it. I wish I could say that I loved her, that I understood why they fought or why she blamed me. But I didn’t have the energy anymore. I’ll be out of here next year.

I already had a room on Campus half way across the country with the money a friend had put away for me.

I block out the screaming, the furniture smashing and turn back to the window.

Focus

Un-focus

I wonder if they will notice that I’ve left.

Come on over and friend me on Facebook at Lisa Lancaster.
Come and do some pinning on Pinterest

Photo by Waldemar Merger via Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons

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18 thoughts on “Leaving.

  1. Pingback: Posts of Note Week 15 – Flying Through Water

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