I find that I’m always trying to race ahead. That I can’t get to my destination quick enough and that my goals are out of reach, even though I’m pumping my little legs as hard as they’ll go. Most of the time it feels like I’m swimming through honey while the rest of the world moves at double speed.
I’ve noticed that I do this when I’m writing as well. Although I don’t think that’s as problematic as it is in everyday life. When I get into the groove of a story, ideas spill out left, right and center and it can be hard to keep up with them. So I tend to scribble dot points in the margins of my note pad, just so I don’t lose an idea. I can get so caught up in the rush of writing that I’ve been known to miss appointments and train stations, eek!
I wonder if the rushing is part of my personality, I’m a Type A personality which basically means that I’m driven, ambitious but also irritable and prone to a short temper. Or I could simply be impatient, not to mention messy. I like to imagine Jane Austen or Emily
Dickenson writing in neat straight lines with a practised and patient hand, and not my ineligible scrawl as I rush to get the story out. It’s like I vomit on the page and it comes out in little alphabet shapes that I move about into a story.
I’ve tried slowing down, making the letters resemble something from the alphabet, but then I feel like I’m swimming in honey again. My brain wants to jump out of my skull and squirt the letters all over the page to make up for the useless hands I’ve got at the end of my wrists. The strange thing is that I don’t actually have to write quickly at all. I’m an unpublished writer, so no pesky publishing deadline to meet (although it would be nice!) So I should be able to go about this writing business in a practised, patient and methodical way. Even as I write this I can hear my brain laughing at me, because that’s not going to happen any time soon.
I have noticed that the rushing happens with everything I’m writing – which is plenty. My novels, my short stories and the blog posts.
Does your personality carry over in your writing technique? Are you a rusher like me or can you go along at a leisurely pace? Words flowing like falling snowflakes. Soft, rhythmical and romantically. Also do you write in different ways for different mediums?
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