Does anyone really care about what I write? I’m not searching for appreciation or validation. I am just wondering. I mean, does it really matter if I finish my books or even this blog post.
Perhaps everything I write has been written before, or at least thought about by a writer who is much more talented than me and then dismissed the idea as garbage, then threw it on the idea pile for the next poor sod who collects their idea droppings. That’s probably me, waving up at them from their pile of fabulous poop.
I’m not wallowing here. I just got to the end of my third novel, and I am truly wondering if everything I write is boring or unoriginal. Is this something that plagues all writers or indeed artists from time to time? That what I have written is utter crap and people would be stupid or at least under the influence to enjoy this utter drivel. Well that’s what I thought after finishing my first edit of my second novel. So many bad, bad things. It’s insecurity isn’t it? I’m insecure about my writing. Maybe if I bundle it up into a little ball of cotton wool and hide it in my pocket or at the bottom of my handbag, it will remain safe and no one will actually know that I am boring and unoriginal.
I read somewhere that all the stories that could have been written have been. I suppose all the same themes are written over and over again. So doesn’t that mean we are all unoriginal, if not boring. Maybe not everyone. In my own work I have love triangles, which really is a theme as old as time. I also have betrayal, love, rivalry and friendship. Unoriginal themes they may be but I hope they don’t combine into a boring story. I do think this all comes back to insecurity.
Is anyone ever 100% secure in what they create? For me especially, there is always an element of fear that what I have written is utter poop and I should not ever share it with anyone. Even published writers must go through this, surely with every work they produce there is a little sliver of fear and insecurity that the editor will hate it or the publisher won’t like it or worse the readers will hate it! Like burn the book when they’ve finished reading it and posting the video on You Tube – hate it. It might be worse. What about if they love it and expect the same gripping and rip roaring story as you wrote the last time? What if I only have one interesting, original and un-boring piece of work in me. Fingers crossed that is not the case.
I don’t know if I have overcome this but I am surrounded by people who believe in what I write and that is a fantastic environment to be in when you are afraid and trying to be fearless.
How do you overcome this? Or are you never afraid or insecure about your work – and if so how can I be like you?
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